Water bills, Djinns and Empty houses
We received a 1200 EGP water bill for a vacant flat in Alexandria I am responsible for (I do not own it). It is a common belief in Egypt that empty homes get inhabited by Djinns and Effrits so I wondered whether maybe they were enjoying multiple bubble baths in the nonexistent bathtub. I could find no other explanation for the bill so I had to turn to the supernatural for answers.
Anyways, we go to the Alexandria water company, who ask us to go to the electricity company to prove that the appartement is uninhabited in order to cancel the bill. I had to get a copy of my ID to do this.
I went to the Kiosk next door to the water company and found the photocopy booth empty. The street was full of big police cars who were dismantling the displays of street vendors. When these things happen it's a common activity in Egypt to sit and watch. We love watching calamities in Egypt. We watch street fights, car accidents, badly built buildings tumbling down. It's an acitivity that brings people together. People call each other to come and watch chaos unfold.
Anyways, immediately a group of people came to offer explanations as to why the photocopying woman wasn't there:
"-She went to watch the dismantling of the street vendors, her son owns a stand that sells batteries and small toys. "
"-She went to make her husband his lunch and will be right back. It's hard for him to have her away and not make him his lunch." This statement was accompanied by a dramatic sigh from a woman sitting accorss the street.
"-She's praying" said a third person, which is a phrase every Egyptian hears whenever they try to do anything administrative in nature. Religious fervor is never as strong as when you want to get something done.
Finally, the man from the neighboring kiosk turned up and said "she's in the coffee shop next door having coffee and then she will use the bathroom for 35 minutes, so go somewhere else to get your documents copied".
This answer was the most convincing thing I had heard all day. I walked to the next photocopy place, holding on for dear life because street vendors were running away in a panic and I nearly got knocked over several times and was hit in the head by a Ramadan lantern shaped like Pikachu.
Back with my photocopies at the water company, they sent me to someone on the second floor, who sent me back to the first floor to talk to someone who apparently had retired, whose colleague sent me back up to the second floor.
Meanwhile an old lady who was folded in three due to her age was shouting continuously and I couldn't for the life me understand how a sound so loud could come out of such a tiny person "I KNOW THE MINISTER! I KNOW THE HEAD OF THE COMPANY! I KNOW YOUR BOSS, HIS MOTHER WAS MY AUNT'S NEIGHBOR! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU? MY SON IS AN IMPORTANT MAN! YOU HAVE TO REVISE MY BILL! THE APPARTEMENT IS EMPTY AND YOU ARE CHARGING ME 2000 POUNDS IN WATER!!!"
I concluded that she too had a problem of Djinns and Effrits who played water sports in her property and wondererd whether the Alexandria water company needed an exorcist.
The clerk told me that I needed to open the water in order to prove that the water wasn't working. I told him the appartment didn't have taps. He told me fine we will manage it, probably just because the woman wouldn't stop shouting and he wanted to go home.
Somehow, thanks to uncle Mohamed, my lawyer, second father and savior, everything got solved but don't ask me how. The shouting old woman shared the lift with us going down and continued her vociferations all the way into the street.
Here is a nice picture of the port of Alexandria just to add some color.
