Covid vaccine, the mayor of Paris and swinging celebrities

I’m travelling to Cairo for a couple of weeks and the day got off to a catastrophic start. This all started last night, when my annoying brain, instead of going to sleep, kept on acting like a dysfunctional computer full of annoying pop-ups. So I spent all night with my brain singing to me “banana, bandana, no sleep for Salma” and worrying about trivial matters like whether or not I would be successful at staying alive if I were a pigeon. I was bought back to reality the morning, running late and no Uber in sight. I run to the boulevard and hale a taxi who tells me he can’t take me at first and then, sensing my desperation agrees. He asks me why I was running late:

“I couldn’t sleep and then I couldn’t wake up”, so of course he answers “that’s because you weren’t sleeping next to me last night, I wouldn’t have let you close your eyes”. I panic and the best come back I can think of is “no I wouldn’t have because you’re so old I’d be afraid you would die in your sleep”. He answers ”age is just a number, you’re as old as you feel”. I wanted to say: so I guess that makes you 12, but I didn’t. I steered the conversation into safer territories, on topics that keep French taxi drivers happy and talking for long stretches of time such as: the mayor of Paris placing strict speed limits, and of course the COVID vaccine, which he was convinced was a conspiracy. This position seems to be widely held by taxi and Uber drivers in Paris. This kept him busy for about 20 minutes and then he started talking about all the celebrities he allegedly picked up drunk outside of swinger clubs during the pandemic. He was of course convinced of having a unique understanding of the world that distinguished him from the rest of humanity, just like everyone else these days. Luckily I arrived at the airport before he could go any further. I left him a tip nevertheless because he delayed another trip to drive me and thanks to him I didn’t miss my flight.