Mahshi, Mombar, Abandonned Children and Egyptian Film Stars
I take a taxi for a rather long trip. For part of the trip a young man transporting ice sheets to a restaurant suffering a power cut shared our ride. The taxi driver had talked my ears off about politics and I didn’t agree with a single thing he said so I tried to change the subject:
-Ok enough politics, it’s your right to convince yourself that everything is going well if it helps you. Talk to me about something, let’s talk about food. That’s an easy subject. What is your favorite type of Mahshi (stuffed vegetables or dolma)?
-What do you know about Mahshi? Have you even made Mahshi in your life?
-Twice and never again.
-I knew it! Your type doesn’t make Mahshi!
-What’s my type?
The young man answered: a Khanum.
-Your type speaks languages, is good with computers and knows how to set a table and invite people over. I bet you never even saw Mombar (an Egyptian dish consisting of stuffed intestines). I bet if you saw that in your kitchen you would get disgusted and faint. I’m sure that if you chopped an onion, you would be annoyed that your hands don’t smell of roses. انت مش بتاعت محشى و ممبار انت صنفك شاطر فالكمبيوتر واللوعات وفرش المفارش ولو خرتطىى بصلة تزعلى على ريحة ايدك
-Not to that extent. I wish I could do things with my hands. Like work wood for example.
-My grandfather was a carpenter. He died at 107 and retired at 90! He used to make background decors for the cinema. All the big film stars knew him, and he could tell you things that no one knew. He used to go to their houses and do work for them. He told me that Roshdy Abaza was a real Pacha, generous! But most movie stars are stingy. Very stingy, no matter how much god gives them, they want more. Nour El Sherif was stingy. Ahmad El Sakka was stingy. Anyways it’s a pity that carpenters aren’t famous, because they help in making movies too. Did you ever hear about a famous carpenter? Of course not! Tell me about one famous carpenter!!
-Only Jesus Christ and his father come mind….
-IT’S FORBIDDEN TO PHYSICALLY REPRESENT PROPHETS! FORBIDDEN! The Iranians made a cartoon representing Jesus and Moses physically and that’s why they have problems now.
-What does that have to do with anything? I only said Jesus was a carpenter…also I have no idea why you decided to bring the Iranians into this.
-You can’t represent prophets!!!
-It’s fine in other religions…we can’t declare that they are wrong, what do we know?
-Well other religions are wrong!
I decided there was no reasoning with this gentleman and risked a final attempt to find a topic that wouldn’t send him into a rage. Unbeknownst to me, I struck a nerve.
-Ok, ok, fine! Do you have children?
-NO! I was married for 16 years and just divorced my wife last month. She deserved it! For years we were trying to conceive, and we couldn’t! I sold my flat in 6th of October city to pay for IVF and then I bought her a flat in a disgusting area just so she could be near her awful parents. I had accepted my Naseeb, I wasn’t meant to be a father. Then a woman called us and said they found a brand new (his words) baby in the tombs. He still had the hospital bracelet on. I decided we could do a kafala. BUT NO! My wife wanted to falsify papers and have him recognized as my own. That is HARAM! She left me and tried to pass him off as her brother to the Civil Registry Office, but she found the only alert employee in the Arab Republic of Egypt who did the maths and told her it’s impossible for her mother to have a baby at 52. Now she lost both her husband and the child because God knows I’m right.
-I mean you lost your wife and the child too…maybe she just wanted to be a mother so much she acted in an extreme manner. You should talk to her.
-No! I am right, God is on my side. She has to apologize to ME!
Thankfully I arrived at that point and didn’t stay any longer.
Image added for scenic value
