The Upholsterer who both awaited and feared death

Upholstery in Egypt is an ancestral craft that hasn’t changed over the past couple of centuries when it comes to traditional uphostery which involves making mattresses and cushions using unprocessed Egyptian cotton which is fluffed and then packed using a tool that looks like bow. I remember as a child, my mother would have our mattresses re-fluffed and upholstered every few years and the upholsterers would spend a couple of days doing that in our garden. This is a dying craft, many people nowadays prefer western style mattresses with springs. However traditional Egyptian upholstery gives very fluffy yet firm mattresses that last several lifetimes given that the cotton is re-fluffed and cleaned with every visit of the upholsterer. During the summer of 2021, when the COVID pandemic was raging, I wanted to hire an upholsterer to restore an old Ottoman style satin quilt. I wanted him to do the work at my place because his workshop was a dump and the material of the quilt was extremely delicate and pale in color. He was reticent at first.

- At what time do you want me to come?

-How does 3 pm sound to you?

-At 3 pm I drink my tea.

-We have tea, it will be my pleasure to serve you as much tea as you want.

-I take six sugars in my tea, I want my own tea, with my own sugar so that I don’t feel embarassed for taking as much sugar as I want.

-I’ll buy a kilo of sugar just for you.

He followed me sulking but finally he started to relax as we approached the house:

-Do you live near Mrs. Sahenda who is on TV? I came here before to do fix a fauteuil at her house.

-I have no idea who that is.

-So you don’t know your neighbors and you don’t know Mrs. Sahenda who hosts a talk show? Are you living in this world with us or are you living in your brain?

I decided not to answer because I wasn’t sure whether he was making fun of me or trying to imply that I was a solopsist.

Once we arrived, he took one look at the house and said:

-Who is the idiot who upholstered these chairs? Was he blind?

I decided to ignore this question and ask him whether or not he had received his COVID vaccine because I was concerned about the older members of my household.

-I don’t believe in vaccines. Of course, I didn’t take my vaccine. Vaccines go against God’s will. If your time comes, there is nothing you can do about it and no vaccine can stop it. So why should I bother myself with vaccines and doctors? Why throw my money away? Instead I’ll spend my money on cigarettes and tea and leave the rest up to God. I never go to doctors, I never take medecine. It’s useless. Take my father for example. He had brain cancer. I checked him into Ain Shams Hospital and they took 9000 EGP! 9000! A few days later, he rolled over in sleep and fell of his hospital bed. He cracked his skull and died then and there! اتدحرج على السرير ووقع فتح دماغه واتكل على الله ! So even if you are in hospital, even if you are doing your best to get better, death will find you if it’s your time.

He continued working in silence, and when it was time for payment, he said:

-Well I sat here in the AC and drank three cups of tea, so I feel pretty happy, I don’t really care what you pay me or even if you pay me. مش فارقة يعني مش أنا شربت شاي و قعدت في التكيف يبق كدة رضا

We walked him to the lift and at that point he stopped short:

-These things are dangerous, sometimes you can walk into them and the lift isn’t even there, you can fall to your death. I know someone who died that way. I’ll take the stairs instead.

-But the lift is right there uncle!

-No! No ya Ostaza! you can never trust what you see...

Old photos showing Monageds and their tools

I still remember the visits of the Monaged (upholsterer) using this very same tool in my mother’s garden.